Don't Ask Me Why

i've never once filled one of these surveys out and not regretted it. but i want to blog again! but i'm afraid! so maybe this will be the beginning. again. because that's what everything is.

2. How big is your bed? huge enough for everyone! you would never think so. but it is.

3. What are you listening to right now? the loudest thing is a fire in the hearth. then celtic music from downstairs i can hardly hear, the dog snoring and my mother turning pages of one of my sister library books which she says explains some of her recent bad behavior. apparently even the library is a dangerous place for a mentally disturbed teenage girl.

4. What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number? really? so this is why i haven't done one of these in years. the questions are always lame.

5. What was the last thing you ate? mmm...last nights dinner my mom just heated up for me. best squash i've had...ever. 

6. Last person you hugged? tessa the tiny toot. or a dog. 

7. How is the weather right now? windy! it seeped into my dreams and prevented me from sleeping all night long!

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? i do not know their name. i'm playing harp for an art show in may now. instead of friday.

9. What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? eyebrows ;)) jk. hair and ears and feet and nose, i'm sure.

10. Favorite type of Food. jalapeno and pineaple pizza. omelet sandwich. indian food. carrot juice.

11. Do you want children? only if i marry someone that looks like a baby so my children can look like babies forever. huge babys. you could even say Big Babies ;)) ...you know.

12. Do you drink? carrot ginger cucumber celery juice!!! and coconut water!!!! mmm!!!

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember the entire night? me!?!

14. Hair color? brown and orange, for today.

15. Eye colour? something...

16. Do you wear contacts/glasses? no way!

17. Favorite holiday? oh! thanksgiving! and christmas! and halloween!!!

18. Favorite Season? spring and summer and fall. that leaves you out, winter. you deserve it.

19. Have you ever cried over a girl/boy? oh my. no, not me!

20. Last Movie you Watched? secret of the kells!!!

21. What books are you reading? effortless mastery, yoga anatomy, pride and prejudice and zombies...i'm sure there are others.

22. Piercings? just my ears.

23. Favorite Movie? the labyrinth, the last unicorn, harold and maude, The fearless vampire killers, band of outsiders, legend, breakfast at tiffany's, cry baby, easy A, house bunny, The dark crystal, tess of the d'urbervilles, sense and sensibility, Calamity Jane, Amadeus, chitty chitty bang bang, The scarlet pimpernel...

24. Favorite college football Team? i don't even know a single one!

25. What were you doing before filling this out? sewing with my mother :)

26. Any pets? at my house: Rita the cat, kitty the cat, rigul the dog  and chickens. at my parents house: tansy and cumin the dogs, willow and ruger the cats and the chickens. 

27. Dogs or cats? cats. unless its a huge overly affectionate golden retriever :)

28. Favorite Flower? honeysuckles, dandelions and gardenias.

29. Have you ever loved someone? no way, man.

30. Who would you like to see right now? i'm good for now. oh degrey! 

31. Have you ever fired a gun? at zombies!

32. Do you like to travel by plane? yes, sir!

34. Are you missing someone? there could be someone. but i seem to have forgotten about them. 

35. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings? do they still have them? i'm sure they're terrible. all cartoons are these days.

36. Are you hiding something from someone? from all the world!!! i live for dirty little secrets ;)

37. ARE YOU 18? – i may as well be 43...tessa tells me i will be before i know it. 5 year olds know everything.

38. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT? i must have! despite the wind and the shaking of the windows and running around the streets barefoot at 4 am, i feel delicious today.

39. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING? where am i??? oh ya :)

38. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE? books, candlesticks, letters, my mighty little space heater, a giant glass of water...

39. GRILLED OR FRIED? grilled and then fried. in coconut oil. ;)

41. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? terribly. which would explain all of last nights shenanigans.

42. FAVORITE HANGOUT? my candle lit bedroom with all of my dear ones.

43. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? rich food, beautiful noise and and and and arizona gunslinger hot sauce ;)))

45. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? i don't want the universe to know. 

46. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER? hm...

56. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET? the softest blues you've ever seen!

Come Along, Child!

i don't know how to blog about myself. my life is too personal. i need to find something to blog about...

Repeat.

The Great Race

One of my favorite parts of the Lava Hot Spring Retreat:


So terribly funny.






YouTube has made the "when two people love eachother" conversation so much easier for parents. no excuses. ;)

Lava Hot Springs

Kayla, Shauna & I went to Lava Hot Springs, Idaho this weekend! And all we did was eat, soak, sleep, massage, read and play truth or dare...best weekend EVER! ;) oh and we sewed. and watched a show about twinkle, evil reptiles, babies, the inbetweeners and the great sperm race. I promise we didn't watch tv the whole time!
perfect little baby road trip.








Twinkle!!!!
I just want to know the truth!!!! i still can't figure it out!!!

Wishing & Hoping & Praying

Joanna Newsom, still not in my mail box and that is the greatest disappointment. I've only been able to listen to the new album on youtube because its not posted on any of my other music listening websites. so so so frusterating. I would have just downloaded off itunes but I want the actual CD. Never ordering a CD from them again. They're lame. 





+But i got my license yesterday and now i can get a real job and be a real independent human being!!! hooray!!!


i had a most true sleep over with two of my most true loved besties last night. we stayed up till 5. lately i feel so old. i've got this ache behind my left scapula and a hungry feeling in my heart. *please hope something spectacular happens in the near future*. My littlest sister is such a real human with such true and precious feelings. her tiny heart knows things i've only just barely experienced. Here i am thinking i've been suffering from being abandoned by two sisters in the same 12 months all alone. She's been sorrowing with me the whole time. That sounds like a line from Never Ending Story. Also, Kayla and i are the same person. In SO many ways. feeling desolate for the last several months has been completely unnecessary. but i knew that.

two people in my head that i don't know, having conversations.

i dream about chickens and barnyards ALL THE TIME. 
i've made up these creatures that are like a mix between goats and lizards. and they always make a very distinct sound and are always rude to me and always mixed in with the chickens and geese. terrifying. i looked them up on google and they aren't real. 
another part of my dream...this boy had a crush on my boyfriend and was trying to figure out how to pursue him...i pretended i wasn't listening a. because i felt awkward and b. because it was a little bit funny. 


HUGE BUNNY!!!!

I still haven't gotten new joanna newsom in the mail. just waiting and watching tiny willow stare into the fireplace. he looks about to pounce...willow and his obsession with movement. i hope he stays a kitten for a long time.

this is my favorite so far. maybe. i love them all.